There's No Right Way: A Collection of Essays on Finding Your Own Way to Kick Ass at Life & Business
These atomic essays were originally written as part of Ship 30 for 30 and posted on Twitter. I've copied the essay content here so it isn't just lost in the endlessness of the Twitter feed. Enjoy!
Why Using Other People's Frameworks Doesn't Lead to Transformation
In a society that reveres the quick fix, I know it's tempting to outsource your personal growth, slap someone else's framework on your life and hope for the best. But, unfortunately, for most people that doesn't lead to lasting transformation.
I've spent over a decade now immersed in the personal development space. It feels like I've read all the books and tried all the advice. But as I continued to look outside myself for guidance, the personal transformation I was seeking continued to feel elusive.
It can be a bit of an addiction really, like you're always waiting for the magic approach that will finally change everything and it's just up on the horizon. So you keep trying things and then feeling disappointed when they don't work. And then cycle repeats itself.
The bottom line is that one-size-fits-all approaches don't work
It's ok for people to share what worked for them, but we need more people teaching others how to find their own path. We need encouragement to be open to experimenting and detaching from the outcome.
Using someone else's framework is a shortcut that lets us avoid doing the real work of transformation.
But if this approach doesn't work then why do we keep doing it?
Vulnerability makes us uncomfortable
Many of us are scared to look too closely because it requires us to be vulnerable and shine a light on our flaws. If we can just take an existing set of steps and apply it to our life then we can avoid the deeper dive into our psyche - our thoughts, emotions, habits, core beliefs, self-talk, etc.
We're too wrapped up in shame and fear and want to avoid feeling worse about ourselves.
But what if being vulnerable and willing to examine our so-called "flaws" is actually the thing that will unlock more acceptance of ourselves?
What if it would give us more confidence, more understanding and the ability to work within our specific nature so that we feel less shame and guilt? Wouldn't that be worth it? Personally, I think it would.
See the original atomic essay on Twitter
It Doesn't Matter as Much How You Choose to Live Your Life, What Matters is That You Make the Choice
My favorite type of people are helpers. 🥰
Helpers not only want to improve their own lives, but they feel compelled to share their lessons and experiences to help other people improve as well.
In a community like Ship 30, there is an abnormally-high concentration of helpers. We're drawn to experiences like this because it's an opportunity for growth and a way to meet other people who are interested in the same things.
One potential downside?
With so many people sharing advice on how to improve, it can make you wonder if you should be doing more.
I've caught myself thinking this and then remember that I've made the choice to pursue a slower, more intuition-driven lifestyle right now because it makes me feel my best and show up at my best, in both work and life.
Here's what I'm reminding myself so I stay in my own lane:
➾ It's ok to not want to follow the trends
➾ It's ok to think differently about something...or everything
➾ It's ok if conventional wisdom doesn't resonate with you
➾ It's ok to embrace a slower pace of living
➾ It's ok to opt out of the hustle culture
➾ It's ok to not want to optimize everything
➾ It's ok if you want to do less or opt-out more
➾ It's ok to take a different path
➾ It's ok if your definition of success, happiness, joy or fulfillment is different than everyone else
The bottom line?
Life is crazy and humans are complex. There is no right way to do life, just the way that works for you. 💥
See the original atomic essay on Twitter
Claiming Who You Are & Showing Up As Your Full Self Is Essential To Living a Kickass Life
We have some interesting words in the English language to describe people who don't conform to society's standards. 😬
Contrarian. Nonconformist. Rebellious. Unconventional. Counterculture.
If you knew me in my younger years, you would never think any of those terms applied to me. The list would have been more like: Compliant. Agreeable. Friendly. Helpful.
For years I kept my rebellious ways a secret. 🤫
I didn't feel comfortable sharing my opinions. I hid parts of myself behind my need to fit in. I showed up as a watered-down version of myself.
Realization Doesn't Always Lead to Transformation
When I started to feel restless in my life about 10 years ago, it forced me to take a look at myself. I wish I could tell you I had an epiphany and everything changed, but that is not even close to my reality.
I struggled with the contradiction between my authentic self and who I presented to the world for years.
I felt stuck in how I thought I should be living my life. 😔
Slow Progress is Still Progress
As I slowly started to share more of my true self with others, I felt more alive than I had in years. I started to accept that it was ok to be different.
Yet, even after a decade of progress in this area, I've still been using the phrase "secret rebel." There is no reason for it to be a secret 🤦🏼♀️
So in keeping with the theme of naming and claiming today, I'm claiming my status as a rebel, contrarian, and nonconformist–proudly so.
I have absolutely zero f*cks to give if someone else doesn't like it. 💥
See the original atomic essay on Twitter
2 Things That Inspire Me To Make The Most Of My Life, But Also Not Take It Too Seriously
Wellll, you're in luck friends 💃🏼
Today I'm sharing one of my favorite quotes AND one of my favorite questions. It's a special two for one deal. You're welcome 😎
First up...the quote.
“I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I have just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.” - Diane Ackerman
The first half of my life I mostly just lived the length of it, but I can never go back to that way of living again.
I don't want to just survive my limited precious years, I want to make the absolute most of them. I wanna show up wherever we go after this with no regrets and a ton of stories to tell. 😍
Which leads me to the next part of the essay...the question.
Does this pass the rocking chair test? 🪑
This question is my favorite because not only does it put things into perspective, but it also encourages me to let loose and be a little wild sometimes. 😜
I may not share all those stories with my grandkids, but you can bet your sweet ass I'll be sharing wild (and probably slightly embellished) stories with the other little old ladies in the nursing home.
Where's the fun in living if you don't get a little wild? 👏
But on a serious note: This question gives you a lens to look at your choices and priorities through. Will these be important when the only thing you've got to do is sit in your rocking chair and play bingo? If not, let it go.
See the original atomic essay on Twitter
Creating Space for Imperfection in a Culture Obsessed with Tracking And Optimizing
I've got a confession to make.
My life is far from perfect.
I don't have a 25-step morning routine that starts at 5am. I'm not in the best shape of my life. I don't journal or meditate every day.
Some days I overthink, procrastinate, and have negative thoughts. I don't call my parents every week.
I don't track every step, breath, symptom, supplement, task, and interaction. And I definitely don't have a 10-step plan to optimize them all.
I "fail" on the regular.
But do I consider my life fulfilling? 1000% yes.
Tracking and optimizing can be incredibly helpful, but we need to leave some space for being human and imperfect.
Humans are not robots 🤖
Setting impossible standards for yourself doesn't accelerate your growth, it accelerates your path to burnout.
The bottom line?
It is entirely possible to create a meaningful life on your own terms, with your imperfect habits.
The important thing is to define what meaningful means to you and then keep moving in that direction.
It doesn't matter if you take tiny steps or giant leaps. If you get off track, celebrate being human and then hop back on track. 🤩
See the original atomic essay on Twitter
