How to Be a Better Human Part 1: A Collection of Essays on Personal Growth
These atomic essays were originally written as part of Ship 30 for 30 and posted on Twitter. I've copied the essay content here so it isn't just lost in the endlessness of the Twitter feed. Enjoy!
Important Life Lesson: Your Perspective Is Not The Only One
I'm obsessed with the human experience. I can't recall what sparked this interest, but I could spend the bulk of my time talking to humans about their life and listening to their stories and be completely content.
Humans. Are. Fascinating. 💥
The good news? People are dying for someone to listen to them. They want to share about their lives, to feel heard and have their feelings validated.
In my years of listening, I noticed most humans are hyper focused on their own experience. When they tell stories that include other people, they don't typically consider the situation may be different from another point of view. Their perspective equals the truth. Period.
Some of this is the nature of being human, especially if you're not actively pursuing self-awareness, but it made me take a look at how I view myself and the people around me.
The Perspective Shift
In giving myself the space to consider other points of view, I've found myself becoming more compassionate and understanding toward my fellow humans.
Instead of jumping to conclusions, being offended or getting upset by something, I try to see it from another perspective. And it makes all the difference.
Just the act of acknowledging that my perspective isn't the only one in any given situation has profoundly affected my life for the better.
Of course there are still days when I'm selfish or feel like my point of view is the most valid. I'm an imperfect human, not a robot. 🤖
If you're someone who is actively trying to be a better human, this is a great way to level up your thinking. Give it a try and then report back 🤩
See the original essay on Twitter
How My Journey to Being a Better Human Began & What's Next
I am by no means an expert in how to be a good human and I don't believe there is just one way to do it. We're all a mixed bag of nature and nurture so what makes me better might make you miserable. We've all got to find our own unique path.
Until about a decade ago I lived pretty much on autopilot.
My childhood was mostly normal without any capital T trauma to speak of. My parents were divorced but attentive. I got decent grades, had friends and hobbies. I went to college, got married, worked a decent job as an RN in the local hospital, bought a house, had a baby – the typical American dream.
Enter: a slightly late Quarter-Life Crisis
At some point in my early 30's I realized that I was just going through the motions in my life. I was doing all the things I was "supposed" to do, but I was basically numb. I wasn't actively choosing anything I was doing - I just kind of fell into it. That realization started me on the path of personal development.
I've read books, listened to podcasts, journaled until my fingers hurt, taken courses, joined masterminds, worked with coaches, tried out new habits and routines, and basically all the things. It's honestly wild to think about how different I am today versus 10 years ago. I hope I can say the same thing in another 10 years.
When it comes to personal growth, the work is never done
One of my favorite quotes about growth is from Tom Bilyeu
"If you don't know EXACTLY who you want to be and what you want to be doing in 5 years, you're already doing it."
I will never be the person writing on the internet telling you my way is the only way to become a better human, but I will tell you that being intentional about everything is the foundation. You have to develop self-awareness and actively choose your thoughts and actions or you will end up sleeping through your life.
See the original atomic essay on Twitter
Want to Be a Better Human? This Book is a Great Place to Start
There are a ton of books out there about how to be a better human – coming at the issue from various angles and giving us multiple frameworks to help transform our lives.
Obviously in such a large genre there are some winners and some not so great books, but one book in particular I recommend to everyone with an interest in self-mastery.
The Motivation Manifesto by Brendon Burchard. 📚
Here are some of the highlights:
The book starts out with The Declaration of Personal Power which is filled with inspiring language about presence, fear, joy, gratitude, struggle, integrity, love and greatness.
Brendon vividly contrasts the struggles we face as humans with the desire for greatness.
The book doesn't assume that self-mastery is a one and done kind of activity, but is rather our life's work. By the end of the book you won't have achieved self-mastery, but rather will feel motivated and inspired to actively pursue it.
Brendon doesn't soften the hard topics. He uses honest language and real-life examples to discuss fear, weakness, negative thoughts and self-talk, self-sabotage, etc. As someone who prefers the real truth to watered-down non-offensive language this is so refreshing!
If you are at all interested in personal development, self-mastery or mastering your mind, I can't recommend this book enough. I have read it at least 5 times and I plan to continually reread it every year. It always gets me pumped up 🔥
If you've read it, do you agree? And what other book(s) would you recommend on this topic?
See the original atomic essay on Twitter
5 Mindset Shifts That Can Accelerate Personal Growth
Let's start off by acknowledging that this is NOT a framework to follow (because you already know how I feel about those) but rather suggestions that can help you be open to growth opportunities.
This is by no means an exhaustive list that will guarantee any amount of growth. They are merely helpful things I've learned on my own journey. Take what resonates and leave the rest 😊
#1: Prioritize Self-Awareness & Intention
If you want to make changes, it's helpful to understand where you are now. Learning to pay attention to your thoughts and motivations is a big first step to making intentional choices instead of just falling into things.
#2: Get Outside Your Comfort Zone & Try New Things
If you keep doing the same things, you'll keep being the same person. For some people that's ok, but if you're seeking to grow then being open to new thoughts, perspectives and experiences can be beneficial.
#3: Learn to Be An Observer
This goes along with self-awareness, but takes it a step further. Learning how to see yourself and your experiences without being overwhelmed by the emotional aspect is a great way to open yourself up to growth.
#4: Be Willing to Be Vulnerable & Deal With Hard Stuff
Is it easier to ignore the hard stuff and avoid it? Absolutely. But if you're serious about becoming a better human, at some point you'll need to be willing to shine a light on yourself – even your flaws – and learn how to handle what you find.
#5: Look After Yourself
This doesn't mean you have to get up at 5am after 8 solid hours of sleep, lift heavy and do tons of HIIT, practice daily self-care rituals, only eat fresh, organic food for every meal or whatever else the gurus tell you is necessary.
Find what makes YOU feel good and make it a priority. Because when you feel good physically and mentally, you free up space for growth.
The bottom line? There are no right or wrong ways to pursue growth
You only need to find the way that works for you. It may take a little time and experimenting, but none of that time is wasted. Each step takes you further from the person you were and toward the new version.
See the original atomic essay on Twitter
The Best Advice I’ve Ever Been Given About Managing Emotions
About 9 years ago I was part of a year-long mastermind with a Life Coach that I adore.
At the time I was in the early stages of my personal growth journey and I was still learning about how to become aware of my thoughts, manage my self-talk and express my emotions instead of avoiding or numbing them.
I had a tendency to judge myself harshly for thinking or feeling a certain way and as you can imagine – it was not at all helpful.
During one of our one-on-one sessions, I was in a bit of a negative spiral and my coach said:
"No having feelings about your feelings."
I remember it was like a record scratch moment for me. It took me a minute to process what she said and make sense of it.
In that moment it stopped my spiral and we were able to discuss the situation more objectively without my self-judgement getting in the way.
Since that coaching session, I have used this phrase many times to interrupt a line of negative or judgmental thinking. I've worked on being an objective observer of my emotions instead of beating myself up for having certain ones.
Since I'm an imperfect human, I definitely don't get it right all the time, but I've improved. And that's a win in my book.
See the original atomic essay on Twitter
The Simplest Way To Overcome Fear of Failure
Everyone struggles with fear at some point in their life and fear of failure can be a particularly intense one.
I was paralyzed by this fear for many years. I didn't participate in things I was interested in for fear I might make a fool of myself. I didn't ask questions in class because I felt like I should already know the answer. I stayed in relationships way longer than I should because I didn't want to admit I couldn't make it work.
I didn't realize at the time that all this fear kept me from fully participating in my life. I convinced myself that any failure would be a catastrophic event. Of course this is how fears work when we allow them to fester – they grow into something much bigger in our minds than they really are.
Here's what I should have done instead:
Learn to see failure as feedback
Failure doesn't mean you did something wrong, it's simply feedback to tell you that whatever you tried didn't have the intended result. It gives you the opportunity to try something new.
Like Thomas Edison said about his many unsuccessful attempts to create a light bulb, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
Learning to detach myself from the outcome and not get all up in my feels about failing was an incredible accelerant for my personal growth.
I now frequently use 30-Day experiments to test things out. Some of my experiments create new habits that continue after the time is up and others don't. I'm neutral about the results because it's all just information to help me keep learning and growing.
See the original atomic essay on Twitter
